prays

As I try to get prepared for the night... my heart pumps faster than it usually does. The nerves, the blood, the stream, everything seem to go haywire inside me. I couldn't rest.

小帅, are you coming tonight? I know you are not, actually.

Flashes of 26th Jan 2007 came back into my mind, again and again, many times in one evening.

The joy of tears flew down my cheeks, even if it would smudge all my makeup, I wouldn't mind to do it again.

No, I do not love him
No, I do not like him
It's an unexplainable feeling.

Anyway, the more I realised Pancake has been more concerned about other women's lives than mine, the more I know, I am not hanging on anymore.

He calls me mad.
But I think...
I am a graceful woman.
I will bring back my loveliness in me, again.