this is it

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.

Watch your words ; they become actions.

Watch your actions ; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character .

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny .

When I woke this morning, I suddenly thought of... *DOH* Simon. Then I felt so loved. No idea why. Those months spent were the best so far in my life. No wonder, I miss him, till I saw him again in Jan.

Then I start to wonder, Simon has positive reasons why I would miss him so much (as a friend). But what reasons do I have for thinking of Roy? He already has a NEW girlfriend now, TOTALLY unexpected. He shoots his mouth at me and days later, he would use contradicting reasons to cover cover cover, giving me the rollercoaster ride.

Yes, I have the NEW girlfriend's photo. Surprise Surprise, didnt dream of she's his kind. A little bit about this woman, she is 2yrs younger than me, they met in Aug/Sept 2006 and started chatting up in NOVEMBER 2006, yep, "secretly" (definitely then we were still together ya). So I guessed then is when they were ALREADY together unofficially. This woman 'acted' the good person by persuading Roy to give me a chance to carry on our relationship bla bla bla, like those you watched on television ---> The Reverse Psychology.

And she got what she wished for, we officially broke in Feb 2007. She stepped in. They got together in Feb 2007 as well. Pieces up eh? I cannot judge who made the first move, but definitely both are willing parties, no matter how much they deny now. How far they gone behind my back before Feb 2007, I do not know. Was practically not told of her presence, please dont ask me if it is because he is guilty.

I do not wish to judge this woman as I do not know her. What was her intention I do not know. Prolly waiting for her chance to step in all these while. It is claimed the breakup wasnt related to her, but I believe what I see. So what he intends to stay single on the day we parted? It didnt prove to be long. I have also been into several relationships, how powerful damage can a third party do, of course I know.

And even if OUR failure (not just mine!) doesnt involves her, there are better ways to handle this breakup, misunderstandings and hostility than to use something to cover cover cover and sweep under the carpet.

"She is a nice gal", I heard this before, referring to the girl before me, and now referring to the girl after me. The girl before me was probably being made use of to forget Yvonne. Now this woman, is she being used to forget me? Well.. heaven knows. Even though I continuously heard him say, he cannot manage any relationships now at this point of his life (cos he needs to study + work).. Yet...

He praised her to me. How saddening to hear, "she doesnt need much of my time", he meant it like I used to force him to accompany me. I always thought I have my own group of friends, allowing him time to study and work. Perhaps then on, whatever I do/say seems annoying to him, even now, even if those are the sweetest things on Earth. Mindset. Stereotyped.

Nothing-judgmental here. Just wanted to share, since all are curious what are mentioned in my protected posts.

What I thought, I really put it down in words, which became my actions- blogging. Then it became a habit to think, which reflects my character, I am Weak. Then, this is MY destiny.

Time is long for those who wait. I want to make it short, fast and swift. Yet, treasuring every moments I lived.